via ifwordscankill (tumblr)

“ The saddest kind of sad is the sad that tries not to be sad. You know when sad tries to bite its lip and not cry and smile and say, “No, I’m happy for you”? That’s when it’s really sad."

Time

Woo! Today is cognitive UT.
Not bad.
Me like (Y)
Yesterday's a bad day. Today's a bad day.
I never want to have another bad day again :/
Tmr is the day! Woo!
I'm eggcited.
I've gotten something for my boyfee (:
I hope he likes it (Y)

Met Alvan & WenWei at Northpoint.
Somethings happened.
Details are between us.

On the verge.

Today class was ok.
Boomz!
Class became slightly higher after my group joined with Nat!
Wooo!
Ruzaini became mine & nat sis (:
We are the chan family!
Wooo!
Unexpected happenings happened.
Don't wish to elaborate.
I'm just so surprised that I never cried.
Wooo!
Went over to B's ahma's homey (:
Bought food for his dad & ate dinner there.
Headed to meet B's friend, Zul
Then went homey alr (:

Tmr is like cognitive UT & Idk what to study! (Y)
Hope tmr would be easy peasy \m/

Despair

You told me it's none of my business again.
You asked me to leave again.

.

Unstoppable

Second day at clarke quay!
Woah so many 'ghosts'
haha took photo with them! \m/
We finished distributing so so so fast!
So we headed to eat bak chor mee! \m/
The guys went drinking there & thus meeting us there again! (:
Headed back & slept like a pig!

& I had a very bad dream :(
I never want to dream it again :(

Clarke Quay

Ytd at class was BOOMZ haha!
--
Waited for Aunty Pei & headed off to clarke quay.
Saw this boy sleeping at the bus stop.
Kept making noises but he refused to wake up.
So yeh. We din't bothered too.
Well ytd was raining & we were drench.
Headed to office to clean up ourselves & put THICKER make up :(
Damn! My skin is dying!
Then eileen drove us to clark quay & yeh! we started our work late & ended early (Y)
The guys came and meet us too (:
Saw several familiar faces. Damned! tempting me to enter the clubs!!
Took photos with the 'Ghost'
Saw alot of drunkards!
Ytd some funny thing happened at Clarke Quay! haha!
Dan...... -.- hahaha!
Details are just between us! (:
Today working there again! Hope to have as much fun! (:

Abortion :(

Since today faci was talking bout abortion, my friend had this bulletin & would like to post it. Kinda sad :(

Dear Mommy,

I am in Heaven now, sitting on god's lap. He loves me and cries with me; for my heart has been broken. I so wanted to be your little girl. I don't quite understand what has happened. I was so excited when I began realizing my existance.

I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.

Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me. Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.

That same day, the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in. I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me.

The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming, "Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me." Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore. Then the monster started ripping my arms off. It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop.

I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off. Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying. I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me. I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy. Now I couldn't all my dreams were shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all.

I wanted more than anything to be your daughter. No use now, for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand. And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead. I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone.

The angel took me to god and set me on His lap. He said He loved me, and He was my Father now. Then I was happy. I asked Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion. I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels." I don't know what abortion is; I guess that's the name of the monster. I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl.

I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful. It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you. I didn't want to die. Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster.

Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did. Please be careful.


Love,
Your Baby Girl